Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

Is two years to far ahead to book a wedding day?

When we got engaged I was expecting to get married within the year, but his family wants us to delay it until the extended family can visit from India. Apparently one of the uncles is ill at the moment and there are other things that make it difficult for them to come over within the next twelve months. His mother is also very keen to have a spring wedding and so it means that it will be nearly two years after our engagement that we will be getting married. It feels as if my life has been put on hold. Although my boyfriend and I have a very close relationship, we aren’t allowed to live openly together until we are married. I do wonder sometimes if this is his mother’s way of delaying things in the hope of us splitting up. Whatever I say, she always has a good reason for avoiding a quicker timetable. How do I make things happen sooner?

Wo says: If you are right, then the way you handle this now will determine who is in charge for the next twenty years or so. Will it be your mother-in-law to be, or will it be you? The battleground is your husband. Will he bend to your will or give in to her? There are a number of tactics you might use. For example, you say your boyfriend and you have a close relationship. I take it to mean that you are having sex. You might say that you are thinking of withdrawing all (or even just some aspects of) such benefits until you are married. That should concentrate his mind. Let’s see his mother compete with that!

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