Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

Should I go through with an arranged marriage with a boy I like but hardly know?

I am quite lucky that I quite like the boy/man than my parents have found for me, and everything is happening in this country. On the other hand, we hardly know each other. He seems nice and he is quite attractive. Nevertheless, I watch my friends who have been allowed to have boyfriends without any parental involvement. They seem to do fine and get to experience lots of relationships before they have to choose somebody. Surely they have a better chance of finding the ideal partner than I do. In particular I worry that I may end up in a loveless marriage, just being together to raise a family. If I did rebel then my family would be very disappointed in me, which would be very hard to bear.

Wo says: I’m sorry that you find yourself in this situation. It may be that your marriage works out very well as many arranged marriages do, but you will probably always wonder what might have been. I think that the main reason for not going through with it is might be because you would like some years of independence from your parents in order to determine your own mind about things. That is a decision only you can make. As you suggest, it will probably lead to difficulties within your family.

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