I love my husband-to-be very very much. We will soon be married if all goes well, but I have a secret that I feel I should share with him. Surely, it is a terrible thing to go into the marriage with a secret between us? After all, it isn’t as if this happened after we were engaged. This was just a drunken fling when we were on holiday together and he passed out after too much to drink. I was left alone drinking with a group of his friends and then the inevitable happened and I had a drunken grope with one of them. It wasn’t even full sex really, and I didn’t give it a second thought the next day. It was only because of the stain on my dress that I even remembered something had happened.

The man it happened with is really not that close a friend of my husband-to-be. They were more work colleagues really and so I have hardly seen him since. When I did see him he winked at me, so I think he remembers. He is such a poor choice to be best man and I was surprised when his name came up. I think it is because he is now the boss of my future husband and he wants to get in with him.

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Wo says: Say nothing! If you haven’t already done so, confide nothing to your friends. Forget it ever happened and deny it if it ever comes up. After all, you said you were drunk so the man can’t really be sure exactly what you remember. You might just remember it as a kiss. If it isn’t too late, campaign for a better candidate for best man without being rude about his choice. Try and think of good reasons why another of his friends might be offended if they are not asked. Steel yourself though. He will still invite this man to the wedding and he will probably wink at you again, or worse. Just practice keeping calm and ignoring any provocation. Most men in that situation don’t want to cause real trouble. they are just indulging their rather poor sense of humour.