We were both just turned nineteen when we got engaged and my parents were very unhappy about it saying that we were too young. I don’t think nineteen is young but my parents said that they wouldn’t pay anything towards the wedding unless we waited until I was turned twenty-one, but would be generous if we did wait, so we agreed. They said I would know my mind better then. Sadly they were right, and I can see now that my life and that of my partner are going in different directions. I am quite academic and it looks as if I am going to become a lawyer of some type. He has failed most of his exams and is currently working in a call centre. We increasingly have different friends and talk about completely different subjects. He doesn’t see a problem and things are rapidly moving to a head as he wants to get on booking a wedding venue and suppliers. What do I do?
Wo says: Parents sometimes have an instinct about these things. The may have liked your partner but seen that you were not enough alike to fit together in the long term. As to what you should do, you know that yourself. You have to bite the bullet and tell your partner that you do not want to get married to him. That may or may not mean splitting up immediately. I am sure that some people would choose to do it in two steps, first to say that you are still nowhere near ready to get married, and then later, to make the split. It might be better for your partner if you were braver and do it in one go, of course. Only you can decide that, but do make sure that the end result is that you are not getting married.