Since I moved away from home to college I have got on really well with my mother. When I lived at home she was really bossy and opinionated, and we nearly came to blows on many occasions. When she didn’t see what I got up to, she could relax and be nice to me. The trouble is, now that I am getting married there are lots of decisions she wants to be involved in – the biggest of which is the wedding dress. I know that she has not really changed, and if she comes along she will form an opinion about what she thinks I should have and then argue and sulk if her choice is not the one I go for. How do I deal with this?
Wo says: I am sure that you know your mother well, so your analysis is probably correct. She has to be stopped from coming along with you and your friends when you are making a final choice. On the other hand, she has to feel involved because her own friends probably ask her about it. Why not make a point of going out with her, just the two of you and maybe one friend, for some joint research on what the best shops are and the possible styles. Explain in advance though that you won’t be taking her along on the final shop as you don’t want to argue with her as you value your renewed friendship with her too much. When you are with her, be positive with her. You might even find that she has some useful advice for you.