Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

I told my friends that everything changes once we are married but one of them told my boyfriend!

My boyfriend tends to act like my lord and master when we are out with people. He decides exactly where we are going and when we are leaving and he evens selects my drinks and the outfits I wear. I am quite in awe of him so I let him do it but my girlfriends tease me about it. I told them one day that ‘everything changes once we are married’ and I do believe that I will feel more confident to assert myself once I am wearing his ring. The trouble is, one of them told him what I said and now he throws it back in my face whenever I disagree with him about anything. How do I mend this, or is he the wrong man for me?

Wo says: Sometimes the people we consider as being our friends don’t act like it! The trouble is, there is some truth in what you said. Often women do feel a lot more confident of their position once they are married, and possibly even more so once they have one or more children. Some men also fear that they may suddenly find themselves in the unfamiliar position of having to deal with their partner as an equal. You certainly don’t want to promise now that you’ll always obey his every word. He might try to hold you to that. All you can do is apologise for now for talking about your relationship to others, and gently try to assert yourself so that he gets used to the idea. That means firming up your ideas on things like clothes and drinks so that you are ready with your opinion when he gives his.

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