Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

My alcoholic friend is a great laugh on nights out but I don’t want her at my wedding!

Now I can’t actually be sure that my friend is alcoholic because she is always fine the next day and is successful at work, but she pretty well always gets absolutely plastered on our nights out and frequently acts badly, by which I mean she is sick and/or makes a pass at random nearby men. I have seen her at weddings and they give her an excuse for starting drinking early and you can imagine the state of her by the end of the evening. I’d like to simply ban her from my wedding but you can imagine it would probably be the end of our friendship. I will ask my other friends to keep an eye on her and keep her under control however on past performance she is too difficult to manage once she is well lubricated. Any suggestions please?

Wo says: Ultimately if she behaves badly it will reflect on her not you, so you should definitely invite her and not risk your friendship. Naturally you need to ensure that your mutual friends keep her away from ‘the top table’ once she starts to get drunk. If she is a true friend, of course, you might be doing her a favour by having an honest conversation with her well before the wedding to say that you are worried about her getting drunk there. If a direct conversation is too difficult for you, then use humour by openly suggesting that you are putting her under the control of other friends at the wedding, given her tendency to get inebriated. If you keep referring to it, she may take the hint that it is time to do something about her drinking.

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