Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

My boyfriend’s family don’t know that I am adopted and now I am afraid to tell them!

I have really lovely parents and they told me about being adopted when I was really quite young (about seven) and I have always been quite relaxed about it. I was adopted when I was a baby and so I had no way of telling. They explained that it meant that I was special because it meant that I had been specially picked by them, and it never gave me a problem. I don’t tend to tell people because I am quite shy and so my boyfriend and his family don’t know. The trouble is that I have realised that his mother and father have this thing about ‘good breeding’ and they go on about ‘bad genes’. Now that we are thinking about getting married it means that our two sets of parents are going to have to meet – something that I have always avoided up until now. I can’t tell my parents not to talk about it as they’ll hate having a secret. What do you think I should do?

Wo says: Tell your boyfriend as soon as possible. If he is worth your love then he will immediately accept it as changing nothing about you. On the other hand, if he has bought into this nonsense about ‘bad genes’ then you’d best find that out about him now when it isn’t too late. Being adopted is something that it isn’t easy to conceal nowadays, not when everybody is out there putting family trees together. Anyway, it isn’t something to be ashamed of and you might want to track down a long lost brother, sister or mother in due course. As for your boyfriend’s mother and father, they will have to react however they want. No doubt they’d like a good relationship with their future daughter in law so they’ll learn to keep their more offensive thoughts to themselves.

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