My future husband and I come from different parts of the country and so our two families hardly know each other. I am not from a poor background but we have never had money to splash around. By contrast, my boyfriend’s family have loads of spare cash. They didn’t spoil him so I didn’t realise it myself when we were at college. When I started to visit his folks though it became very obvious, which I find a little uncomfortable though I guess I will get used to having money. The trouble is, with the wedding approaching my parents are being confronted with the fact that they can’t afford to pay for the wedding that my future parents-in-law are hoping for. I might persuade them to accept a 50% contribution but even then it would break them. I hate to see my dad look ashamed yet I am not sure how to manage this, so all advice welcome.
Wo says: I think you need to step back and let your parents negotiate this. They may find it easier to talk about once they get to know each other better. You should arrange one or more get togethers where they have an opportunity to relax in each other’s company. It could be that your problem goes away when it becomes a discussion between friends rather than between two sets of proud strangers.