As our wedding day approaches my boyfriend has started obsessing about what happens in other people’s marriages. He says that people have affairs because eventually the excitement goes out of sex, and he wants to plan for how we are going to handle that. For example, would we have an open marriage or would we lie to each other. He doesn’t seem to entertain the possibility that we might just be happy together. Is this a sign that I should be thinking of breaking it off now, whatever the cost?
Wo says: Obviously it would be a more positive conversation if the focus was on how to keep excitement going in your sex life for years and years, rather than simply accepting that it will die. It could be that the idea of having an open marriage is just a turn on for him, and he doesn’t actually mean that he would like that. Whatever the case, you need to squash the idea early. Something along the lines that you would never accept an open marriage, and that an affair would be instant grounds for divorce in your eyes. You can then turn the conversation onto the positive side and ask him for his suggestions on how you can spice it up right now.