I have a young relative who has a learning disability and I love her to bits but I really think she would be the wrong choice as a bridesmaid. Unfortunately everybody else seems to have assumed that she will be one and I don’t know how to stop that happening. I just know that on the day she will be pulling strange faces and so on in the wedding photographs and she will distract people. How do I tell her gently that she won’t be a bridesmaid and how do I explain my reasons to other people?
Wo says: Of course she must be a bridesmaid if she wants, and you must be her biggest champion. You said that you love her to bits, well this is exactly the time to prove that. She may well become a bit of a distraction in your wedding photographs but your family and friends are no doubt used to her and will simply smile and say how nice it was that she could enjoy the day. In any case, many of your photographs will just be of the happy couple, or of other combinations, so you will have plenty of absolutely perfect snaps to frame.