Letters to Wo

- what do you think?

We have radically different ambitions for what we want out of life. Will it split us up?

It may seem strange, but my partner and I never discussed what we wanted out of life while we were at Uni. I realise now that everything we talked about was to do with immediate things, our courses, the concerts we were going to, what we were going to eat that evening. Now we are making plans for the future and it is obvious we have different ideas. I want to return to my home town and work and live near to my parents, while my partner wants to get a high powered job in London and build a career there. My home town is a long way away from London. How do we resolve this? Until all of this came up our relationship seemed strong and unbreakable yet I don’t see a way through.

Wo says: I don’t think that you are unusual as a couple, particularly a couple who met and got together at University and away from your homes. The way I see your situation is like this. If you follow your partner’s preference and go to London then you may hate it, but you also might like it. If you like it then the problem is solved. If you hate it, having given it a reasonable time, then you have to have a hard conversation with your partner. On the other hand, if you convince your partner to abandon their ambition immediately they are likely to harbour some resentment which could surface later in your relationship. Try London, it isn’t a bad place to live for a few years at least.

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